It’s been a while since I did a good rant and frankly, I could not help myself after seeing what is easily the world’s ugliest creation in footwear history. As someone that is trying to see men wearing better shoes, monstrosities such as these only serve to make my life harder. And it would appear that year after year, one of the big sports shoe brands is trying to one-up the other by making an even uglier shoe than the previous. Last year it was one of Adidas’ x Yeezy amoeba-looking shoes, and now this seashell x soccer shoe that looks like it comes from some planet in a far-off galaxy. I am already dreading what 2024 will bring!
This was a collaboration between Botter x Reebok x HP to make the half seashell / half soccer cleat platform sneaker that is 3D printed by HP. I like when brands get together, but I mean, are they just taking the piss with these? There is no functionality-serving purpose with these and it is quite unfathomable that someone would find these attractive. Of course, as I say that, I recall actually spotting someone in Soho wearing a pair the other day. Not sure if they were paid to do so as they simply don’t seem real or look natural. Looking at them makes me feel like I am watching some sci-fi fantasy movie set in the year 3034 in the galaxy of Seashellonia where alien creatures have commandeered the feet of the locals as a parasitical attack.
While nothing surprises me anymore, I just ask myself ‘why’? Why must fashion try so hard to just be ridiculous? It’s not even mind-boggling anymore, it’s just sad. Where did taste go?
Sometimes, I wish these brands would just say no. I love Reebok. I have like 5 pairs of the classics. And feel that they come from a good heritage. The founder would be rolling in his grave for sure if he saw these. I guess integrity has gone out the door in exchange for power and money. And this is what is created because of that. But what is even crazier is the fact that people will probably wear these. And ultimately that is what blows my mind the most. Where has the world gone?!
All images courtesy of Reebok